Ponderings and possibilities


Love, for who knows when it might end.
May 11, 2009, 9:55 pm
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It is perhaps oh so over-used that it may have lost some of it’s effect – ” live today like it is your last.” Tired of hearing it?  Lost the edge from trying to live it?


Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature[a]will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Perhaps take a few moment and really think about tomorrow being the day you stand before Jesus.  Read Galatians 6:7-10 a few more times.
For me, there is that gap again, between theory and practice – I read – “Do not deceive myself into thinking I am doing ok”; Get real and really honest with how that may be on that day.  Where is my urgency and honesty?

We know lukewarm gets puked out and it is missing the power of Him in us and the power of Faith and deeds lived out.

When I am standing in front of Jesus,  I will be shameful of foolish pride, sick of my ego, frustrated with the excuses I have made and missed oppoirtunites not taken, probably sad about all the time and energy accumulating material stuff.

I will be happy about the times I did spend loving my family and friends; God has made this one easy – but like it says, forgiving enemies.. well, that’s tougher!

What if, just what if, instead of living life from trying to do good things and mostly not do bad things, I finish a life lived from love for Jesus and love for all others?

What if on those days when it ain’t coming together like a novel I dig deep and pray for that love to be filled in my heart and pray to be falling more in love with Jesus everyday?

I pray that each day God gives me a little more love in my heart and more clarity on what counts and less struggle with the things that I want to battle or buy into that are worthless.  God give me more discernment, more understanding to live this life letting Him, the Holy Spirit work through me.  Let me be an empty vessel for your Kingdom. Let me see complete surrender and know this is the truth.

Philippians 1:9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.



Not knowing why
May 7, 2009, 9:45 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

The other title I was thinking of for this was “Expect the unexpected and be OK with it!”.

I thought  I was ready to charge forward at a great rate of knots, take ground for His Kingdom and do whatever it takes to close that gap between theory and practice.  That ugly big gap where things are closer in theory than they are in practice..  and then comes up a weird health issue that knock me off my perch and has me unable to operate on my “A” game.  It’s hard to be cheering and a light when headaches, dizziness and mood swings from chemical imbalances are ruining the day.

I don’t know what it is or why it is happening and for a while I was ignoring it, thinking I was was fine with not knowing, but there is a difference between ignoring something and really being ok with it.  I was supressing and confining something when what I should have been doing was praying through it each time it came up.  I didn’t want this thing to take over, but it boiled to the top anyway and here I am now beginning to really pray deeply and learn to leave this with the Lord.

I still wish I knew why..  am  i in sin, am i missing something God wants me to see, is it because my plan was not aligned with my family yet?  Why now when things looked like they are firing up and ready to launch?  Perhaps it is just an attempt to thwart things by you know who?

Whatever it is, I am leaning into the Rock who is my salvation and rejoicing in Him and trusting in Him that this is part of His good and perfect plan.  I need  to be OK without knowing what is wrong and why this is happening!   Rejoicing in Him always.

2 Samuel 2-7

“The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

3 my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—
from violent men you save me.

4 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

5 “The waves of death swirled about me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

6 The cords of the grave [b] coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

7 In my distress I called to the LORD;
I called out to my God.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came to his ears.